


You Have the WORST Handwriting

by LainaFantasy



Series: Laina's Voltron Stories [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU That Parallels Canon, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Asexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Diary/Journal, F/M, Fluff, Hispanic Lance (Voltron), Katt - Freeform, M/M, Onesided Klance - Freeform, POV Bisexual Character, Pansexual Hunk (Voltron), Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmate-Name on Arm, Soulmate-Signature, Soulmates, pidgance, plance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-08
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-01-30 16:56:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12657636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LainaFantasy/pseuds/LainaFantasy
Summary: Like most kids, Lance's soulmark appeared when he was 10 years old. Unlike most kids, Lance can't read it. All he knows is that it starts with a 'K' and has a 't' about halfway through. So when he feels it activate one day at the Garrison when he's quite literally knocked into Keith, what's he supposed to think? Keith must be his soulmate... right?Take a peek into Lance's diary as he tries to sort through the weird coincidences complicating his life.(In which Lance is wrong about his soulmate)





	1. #1-3 Excerpts from the Garrison

**Author's Note:**

> Heads up, I've never really done this style of fic before. Usually, I have near-perfect grammar and spelling and try to write eloquently, so I'm really going out of my comfort zone with the diary style here. I hope you like it!
> 
> This fic was inspired by and written for Honestlyprettychill <3

Excerpts from Lance’s diary  
  
(Taken with permission)

 

Excerpt #1

 

Dear Diary,

Hey, my name is Lance, and today was my first day at the Galaxy Garrison! I have a lot of mixed feelings – I didn’t get into the fighter class program like I wanted, but at least I’m here. There’s a chance I might move up to fighter class later if I rise to the top of my class and if someone up in fighter class flunks out, so I’ll do my best!

Um I’ve never kept a diary before, so I’m not sure what to say. I wouldn’t even be doing this, but my mom said that this way, I can write stuff out to look back on later and to just kinda deal with everything going on. I’m glad the tablets here have a private file mode because otherwise I’d be super scared that this might get hacked. As it is I named this file “History paper research notes” so hopefully no one will want to read it. So…

Maybe I should write more about myself? Uh, so, I’m Lance. Well, my first name is actually Mateo, but my dad’s name was Mateo and I’ve got like two different cousins named Mateo, so I got really tired of that name by the time I was like 10. Lance is one my middle names, and I like it, so I started going by it when I was 10 and I guess it stuck. I think my soulmate will probably have Mateo on her arm since that’s my “real” name and I didn’t start going by Lance until shortly before my mark showed up, but who knows.

Speaking of marks, mine is literally the worst. Well, okay, maybe not _the_ worst, but it’s bad. I remember it showed up when I was 10, so pretty typical, you know? But I looked at it and I literally couldn’t read it. I tried showing it to my mom but she couldn’t make sense of it either?? It starts with a K and there’s a t in the middle but besides that I have no idea what it says. My soulmate has the WORST handwriting. I guess I’ll be doing all the paperwork when we get married!

I know it’s cliche, but I like to think about my soulmate and wonder who she might be. I hope she’s cute. I mean, I like hot girls of course, but I really hope that she’s cute AND hot, but especially cute. I hope she’s shorter than me, but honestly, that’s not hard. I’m not short. I’m like 178cm tall and I’m probably not even done growing yet. Or uh shoot they use imperial units up here, so I guess that makes me something like 5’10”? I can’t keep track. Metric is just objectively better tbh. So much easier. I’m glad the Garrison itself uses metric, but we’re still required to learn imperial for some reason???

Anyways I got kind of off-track but yeah the point here is that I’m not short so my soulmate will probably be shorter than me. She’ll probably be cute and hot too. I wonder if she’ll want to be a space explorer like me? I hope so. It would be really awesome to go on missions side-by-side with her. I bet she’ll be a bit of a rebel like me.

Shoot it’s almost time for curfew. Ugh this is gonna be annoying to get used to. But yeah even if I’m a rebel, I don’t want to get in trouble on my very first night. I need to figure out how this place works so I can get away with rulebreaking after all!

Until next time!

– Lancey Lance

 

* * *

 

Excerpt #2

 

AHHHHHHHHHHHH MY SOULMARK ACTIVATED TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I DONT KNOW WHAT IM THINKING OR SAYING OR DOING OMG I JUST THIS IS AMAZING AND TERRIBLE AND I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON OR ANYTHING I JUST

 

Okay hunk just told me to calm down before he hits me with a pillow but AHHHHH he just doesnt understand this is literally the best and worst day ever I cant possibly contain myself right now

 

Okokokok so BASICALLY I was walking down the hall between classes and talking to Hunk because hey if he’s my roommate and classmate I should get to know him right? And anyways we’re in this big crowd and I only know Hunk (tho I recognize Keith because he’s kind of a star and he’s right in front of me but ANYWAYS he’ll be important in a sec) and I’m talking to Hunk when we all hear some yelling and some footsteps behind us and I LITERALLY GET KNOCKED OVER as someone just SLAMS INTO ME from behind so I land on top of someone and someone lands on top of me and there are some other people who all fell down around us and Hunk’s squishing like 4 people and it’s a total mess.

And anyways the person on my back gets up and takes off running and I can see her going down the hall and she’s like this short girl with long reddish hair and I’ve never seen her before and she’s really kind of cute but anyways she’s not important to the story

SO the guards like awkwardly jump over this pile of teenagers in the hallway and take off after her and I realize that I’m sprawled all over someone. As I come to my senses, I realize that KEITH KOGANE is under me!! WHAT. And then AND THEN I REALIZE THAT MY SOULMARK IS WARM OMG but I try to play it cool so I get up off of him and stand up and I know that really there are a lot of people all touching right now so it might not be Keith BUT his sleeve is pulled up a little and I can see a little flash of something that looks like ‘Mat’ before he pulls his sleeve down!! MAT!!!!! I just I can’t even that’s gotta be “MATEO” THERE’S NO WAY THIS IS A COINCIDENCE.

 

KEITH KOGANE IS MY SOULMATE

 

But then like???? He just kind of gets up???? And doesn’t even look at me???????? I don’t know what to think like is his soulmark not warm too? I just UGH I lost my nerve completely and just kind of let him walk away without saying anything LIKE AN IDIOT. I LET MY SOULMATE WALK AWAY. I’M SO STUPID.

AHGKSJGDALKGH I am DEAD

UGHHH I should probably try to tell Keith?? Tomorrow maybe???? Idk I mean if he didn’t feel it too then it’s gonna be awkward but I HAVE TO KNOW but??????

Also am I bi?? I guess I just?? Never questioned this before?? I mean maybe not. I’ve heard of guys who were otherwise straight ending up with male soulmates, so who knows?

 

Anyways I’ll figure this all out later because I am just too SHOOK right now to think or do anything

See ya,

—Lance

 

PS: I can’t tell if Keith McLain or Lance Kogane sounds cuter JKLDSN THEY BOTH SOUND SO CUTE

 

* * *

 

 

Excerpt #3

 

Dear diary,

I’m about ready to strangle my heart. I’m still severely regretting not talking to Keith about the fact that we’re probably soulmates before he mysteriously up-and-vanished, and I really miss him and his stupidly cute mullet and those violet eyes and just… I have really strong feelings for that boy okay? Nobody’s gonna be able to just replace him. I was SUCH AN IDIOT, hiding my feelings behind that “rivalry” instead of just straight up asking him if we were soulmates or not. And now he’s gone and I have no way to contact him...

Ugh but you’ve heard this all before. The POINT is that I met someone new today. I got my new team assignment since I’m fighter class now, which is… I mean it’s really bittersweet because yeah this is everything I wanted but it came at the cost of losing Keith. I just have to keep reminding myself that if we’re soulmates, we’re meant to end up together, so we’ll see each other again someday… hopefully…

UGH ANYWAYS KEITH ISN’T EVEN THE POINT OF THIS. THE POINT OF THIS IS THAT THE NEW KID IS CUTE AND I’M HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

Okay seriously I’m obviously still crushed by Keith but then this KID named Pidge (what a weird name) shows up and I just instantly…??? Idk he’s just really cute and he’s kind of sassy in that like flat humor way and ugh I don’t even know what’s going on or why and this is really just the most basic playground crush ever but I just feel so drawn to him? Like I’m pretty sure he lowkey CANNOT stand me at all and tbh I don’t blame him because I know I can be kinda… overwhelming for someone new but that doesn’t change the fact that I’ve got this stupid crush.

Also that makes two guys now, and one isn’t my soulmate, so… I guess I’m bi?? To be perfectly honest here, I always _have_ liked pink purple and blue. I could easily make that my aesthetic.

Hmm I asked Hunk if I was bi (tbh I couldn’t keep this from him I tell him pretty much everything idk why he puts up with me) and he asked me if I was pansexual. I guess I could be pan. The bi colors are a lot prettier though… and the PUN POTENTIAL. And besides I guess with pan it’s supposed to be that you’re attracted to people without any regard for gender but I think for me it’s more like I’m very aware of the person’s gender I’m just also very aware that both binary genders have potential to be cute/hot. Then again Pidge isn’t exactly manly boy supreme soo…

I asked Hunk for his opinion and he told me he’s pan (duh like I hadn’t seen the flag at the foot of his bed) and he doesn’t care whether or not I join his club or the one right next to his but either way we’re in this together. So that’s nice. Honestly Hunk puts up with so much he’s an angel. I just exist to shout problems at him I swear I’m like so annoying without even trying I guess that’s just my talent.

So anyways Pidge is on our team, so it’s not like I can just choose to pretend he doesn’t exist. Hopefully this won’t be too hard or awkward, but knowing my luck of course it will be.

Oh and also his last name is Gunderson?? Like wow who has the last name Gunderson and then has a kid and honestly thinks “you know what name goes great with Gunderson? Pidge” like wait what? His name boils down to “Pidgeon Gun” like okay that’s kind of an oxymoron.

In any case, I’ll keep you posted about how this goes.

Until next time, bi bi!

\--Bisexy Lance

PS: Yup I’m totally going with bi this is great (I mean I’m freaking out because _how am I going to tell my parents?? I never even told them about Keith and now this?_ But at least I can have fun with it)


	2. #4-5 Excerpts from Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge is a girl, the castle is a ship, Keith's arm says--  
> Well, let's just say that Lance has been discovering a lot lately.  
> Also Hunk's been keeping a secret, Allura and Shiro just had a realization, Keith got some news, and Lance withdraws from the team. Someone save him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild warning: Lance is insecure, and there's some self-deprecating speech and some despair here.

Excerpt #4

 

Dear diary,

I’m in space. The last time I did a diary entry was like two days before I left earth, and basically all I said was that I hoped we didn’t bomb the simulator. News flash: we bombed the simulator. THEN I had an idea for a team-building exercise, THEN we picked up on alien radio chatter, THEN we ended up saving the awesome and amazing Takashi Shirogane AND KEITH WAS THERE TOO OMG and just…

Idk I’ll probably write out the whole story sometime because it is WILD but long story short I’m in space now and I have no idea when I’ll get back to earth. Since so much has been going on, I figured I’d do what I’ve done since I joined the Garrison – write it out. And I swear I will because that’s a story I’m definitely gonna wanna preserve for the future. But uh wow the few days since have also been full of surprises?!

Okay so uh first off AJUHIOSINFS PIDGE IS A GIRL WHAT EVEN I’M OFFENDED I mean really I was putting off questioning my sexuality and THEN THIS KID shows up and confirms for me that yup I’m bi because I like him BUT if I had just known he was a girl…!! I mean I guess I’m glad I know about my sexuality BUT STILL. And APPARENTLY I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN’T KNOW and just wow now I feel stupid. ...well, I shouldn’t feel stupid. It’s not like I didn’t notice that Pidge isn’t super masculine. I should feel proud that I didn’t ASSUME that Pidge was anything other than a guy just because he was a bit more girly. I don’t judge. But anyways I’m not really sure what to do about my feelings because ugh Pidge is cute regardless of gender but I need to not think about that because Keith…

Also the Castle we’re staying on is a spaceship? I mean I just thought it was a cool alien techy castle thing but apparently it’s a ship as well?? And again everyone knew but me of course ._.

Oh and I guess I… almost died at one point…? I don’t quite remember… I just remember checking on Coran and I saw Rover but then I remembered thinking that something was wrong and… I have this weird hazy memory of using my bayard and the others told me that I woke up for like 2 seconds and shot this Galra commander… and then next thing I knew I woke up from one of the healing pods. Keith said he cradled me in his arms at one point? I mean… I don’t know if he said that to mock me or what. I don’t really remember that happening. I guess now that I’m really thinking about it I can kind of remember something happening? It might as well be a dream though. …I don’t want to think about it right now. This situation is weird enough already without any bonding moments that may or may not have happened. >.<

I still need to talk to Keith, but I’m just too nervous to. What if he doesn’t believe me? What if he isn’t actually my soulmate?? I don’t know what to do. I need to see his soulmark and make sure it’s my name before I claim that we’re soulmates, but I can’t ask without telling him what I know…

And then of course I made a fool of myself today. Everyone’s annoyed enough that I flirt with Allura, but hey, she’s beautiful _and_ confident and like of course I’m not serious she’s not my soulmate it’s just for fun. Anyways today we met some aliens who claimed to be rebels, and one of them was a cute girl, and I was just trying not to think too hard about Keith’s comment, and I started flirting with her… idk. I’m not proud of what I did, but like I should be allowed to flirt just for fun right? Anyways it went terribly and I ended up in trouble because of it and I’m pretty sure Keith is more annoyed at me than ever. I mean… he was teasing me, so I guess he can’t be too upset, but just…

Maybe Hunk will know what I should do. He’s good with this sort of stuff. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.

Until next time,

Lance

 

* * *

 

 

Excerpt #5

 

Dear diary,

Well… quiznak. I uh… geez I don’t think I’ve ever felt more disappointed in my life. This beats finding out I didn’t make fighter class when I entered the Garrison. So uh… sorry if this isn’t really as enthusiastic as usual?

I should probably tell you what happened. Uh… Where do I begin?

So, I talked to Hunk about not being able to talk to Keith, and Hunk apparently told Shiro some of it in like a “so if theoretically one of us suspected that another of us was his soulmate…” way or something, and Shiro decided that a team bonding exercise was a great idea. I mean, the castle _did_ try to kill us yesterday, so apparently Shiro and Allura decided that we could take a day off before we start looking through Sendak’s memories for information tomorrow.

So, team bonding exercise. Hooray. While Coran manned the bridge, the rest of us including Allura sat down around the dining table to talk about ourselves. We were supposed to share details about… uh, I think it was our families, our backgrounds, our plans for the future, and our soulmarks or something like that. Hunk talked about his family (I already knew it all), I told everyone about my big family, Shiro and Keith both shared and now I’m confused because I thought they were brothers or cousins or something but apparently they aren’t related? Allura talked about her parents, especially her mother since we didn’t know anything about her. Pidge went last and told us about how her father and brother were on the mission with Shiro and are somewhere out there and she’s hoping to find them. Hunk asked what their names were and when Pidge said that her brother’s name is Matt, Keith kinda froze up and then asked if that was short for Matthew. Pidge agreed and Keith looked really shook while Shiro just kinda looked like “oh”. Then Keith took off his jacket and.

It’s funny because I never thought I’d be _disappointed_ to see Keith without his jacket but whoops there was his soulmark and it

It says Matthew

And Pidge and Shiro both confirmed that it’s in Pidge’s brother’s handwriting, so now Keith _and_ Pidge _and_ Shiro are all trying to find this Matt guy for different reasons.

I had to leave the room. I couldn’t help myself, I just… dammit after all this time! Worse, I thought at first that I had a one-sided bond with Keith. Bless Hunk, tho, he noticed that I’d run off and put 2 and 2 together and came to talk to me and reassured me that most likely it was someone else in the hallway that day which is probably true I mean I probably touched at least 5 people when everyone fell over like dominos. Hunk suggested that we get Keith to write down his signature to check and I agreed so once I stopped crying (not that I’d admit that in front of the others, but Hunk doesn’t judge because he’s literally the best I don’t know why he puts up with me) we went back out there. Everyone asked what was wrong and I couldn’t even speak but Hunk saved me again and deflected like a pro and asked Keith for his signature. Keith was like super confused but he wrote it down and I don’t know if I’m crushed or relieved but it looks nothing like the one on my arm. The others asked what was wrong and I couldn’t say anything and I tried to smile but it was really hard so Hunk offered to explain and I was too emotional to do anything but just nod so he explained my soulmark and how messy it is. But then uh the others were like “but what about the activation? That’s how you know it’s the right person” and I didn’t want Hunk to explain it to them so I just managed to say something like “yeah silly me” and sent Hunk a look asking him to not tell the others that it _did_ activate because I don’t want them questioning it.

Uh let’s see after that we started talking about our backgrounds and future plans and stuff and nothing was really noteworthy and tbh I wasn’t really paying attention. Then we got back to soulmates. Apparently Hunk’s soulmate is that Balmeran girl Shay? Idk when Hunk was planning to tell me. I have to admit I’m a little disappointed he didn’t say something sooner but oh well I’m happy for him. Anyways his mark is this cool looking symbol in the Balmeran writing system.

Then it was Shiro’s turn and he told us the mark was on his arm that’d been cut off but he remembered what it looked like and apparently it had been completely foreign to him, symbols that didn’t line up with anything on Earth, but when he saw Altean he realized that it looked similar and started to suspect. Allura was stunned but she pulled back her sleeve and showed the symbols on her arm which are apparently Japanese for Shiro’s name in his handwriting so yeah Allura and Shiro are soulmates. Someone (I don’t remember who) asked about the mark activation and Allura admitted that she didn’t remember it activating, but then Hunk pointed out that normally Shiro wears his Paladin armor which includes a glove over his biological hand so perhaps they’d never even shared skin contact? So Shiro touched Allura’s arm with his human hand and Allura immediately reacted and said that yeah she could feel it now and everyone congratulated the two of them.

Idk what happened after that because I slipped away while everyone was talking about Shiro and Allura. I just… I need more time to process. This is so weird and painful, finding out that the guy I thought was my soulmate apparently isn’t?? Worse, soulmark activation is literally once in a lifetime, so I’ll never get that confirmation again, and instead of looking around to see if anyone else was looking at their arm when I felt mine activate, I was too focused on Keith and what I thought his mark said.

I looked back on what I’d written at the time, about how there’s no way it could be a coincidence. Ha. More like a cruel twist of fate.

I tried looking more closely at the mark to see if I can figure out what it says, but I’m having no more luck now than I did when I was 10. I have no idea who my soulmate is. They’re probably on earth, wondering who I am and wondering why nobody else reacted when their soulmark activated. Stars above I’m such an idiot.

I’m gonna go to bed early tonight. I can’t handle this right now.

Goodnight,

Lance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The astute observer may have noticed that the chapter count went from 3 to 4. This is because this chapter ended up being really long, so I broke it apart. The other part is going up soon, I promise!  
> In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying this. Please give me feedback, especially on characterization!


	3. #6 Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things haven't been the same for Lance since finding out that Keith isn't his soulmate. But this isn't even Lance's only problem. The team is constantly under external and internal pressure, and Lance isn't sure how to cope.
> 
> (Snippets ranging from the end of season 1 to the start of season 4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are little "fragments" of diary entries spanning most of the show so far. Spoilers ahoy for Season 4 Episode 1. Warning for some insecure self-talk.  
> If you squint, there's some really mild hinting at the Shiro clone theory? If you don't like that theory, though, the hints are probably still easy enough to ignore. (There's also a straight-up joke about it, which will probably be funny no matter what your opinions are on the subject... I hope.)

Interlude – various excerpt fragments

 

Excerpt #6A:

 

Dear diary,

The past… day? Two? I don’t even know. Anyways the past couple days were crazy! Shiro and Allura went off on a reconnaissance mission together and only Shiro made it back so then we had to save Allura and THEN the battle got crazy and Pidge and I basically had to hold off all the ships by ourselves while Shiro was busy… being beat up?? I’m not quite sure what happened to him. And Hunk saved Allura and Keith tried to take down Zarkon alone which is… wow uh points for bravery but that’s pretty stupid.

Then when we used the wormhole to get away we all got split up?? So while Allura and Coran were apparently in some kind of time loop and Shiro and Keith had to fight off some lizard things and Pidge apparently got to play with some adorable fluzzy alien creatures on the most peaceful solo adventure ever (I call hacks – she also had the easier lion extraction adventure which is just unfair) HUNK AND I SAVED AN ENTIRE PLANET. And Hunk spent most of the time mind-swished, so really _I_ was the MVP here.

…funny, nobody else was really interested in that fact. At least Hunk acknowledged that I saved him and that we both had to work together to take down that sea beast thing. But it seems like everyone else was more interested in stupid prodigy Keith being able to pilot the black lion. Like yeah I’m glad he saved Shiro but is it really that big of a deal that he piloted the lion for a couple seconds??

Anyways we’re all taking a couple days to recover now. Shiro and Allura are both mutually freaking out about the fact that the other almost died. Hunk’s actually out of the castle at the moment, visiting Shay on the Balmera. Pidge and Keith are talking about Matt aka the only thing Keith will talk about when he isn’t talking about the mission ahead or training or stuff like that.

So basically I’m just alone at the moment which is fine. I’m using the time for a little self-care. It’s hard to find the time for a proper face mask when you’re constantly saving the universe.

In other news, my sharpshooting skills have been improving…

 

* * *

 

 

#6B:

 

…Oh and something kinda funny happened at dinner today. I don’t remember how it came up, but we ended up talking about weddings?? And Allura and Coran were telling us all about Altean wedding traditions, and at first they were talking in the abstract, like “when a couple gets married, they usually do this and that” but then at some point Coran started saying “they _will_ do this and that” and then he accidentally gestured right to Allura and Shiro and said something like “and then you’ll share your first dance” and OMG they both started blushing so hard and everyone was laughing. After that, we all started ““planning”” the wedding while Allura and Shiro were trying to get us to stop, and overall it was really funny.

Then Hunk kind of shyly asked about “other” customs and Coran gave him a rundown of Balmeran tradition, about how, for them, ceremony isn’t the most important aspect or something like that and basically weddings tend to be really small events with only close family if at all because some couples simply start their lives together without any ceremony but by contrast all new births are celebrated all across the community and they apparently have festival days that everyone participates in.

I also randomly realized that back when we had that “team bonding exercise”, Pidge never shared her soulmark. Shiro’s turn came before hers and then everyone forgot about the bonding exercise afterwards. I’m curious now, but I can’t just go up and ask her for no reason! Maybe Hunk could help me? Idk. I’ve asked the poor guy for enough favors lately.

In other news, we’re apparently planning to go to the base for the Blade of Marmora tomorrow…

 

* * *

 

 

#6C:

 

Dear Diary:

 

KEITH IS GALRA I AM SHOOK WHAT

 

Seriously okay does anyone else on this team have any other shocking revelations?? If so can we get them out of the way right now??? First Pidge being a girl then Shallura being soulmates and Pidge and Keith apparently destined to be in-laws and now Keith’s an alien??????? Geez I mean what’s next? Does Allura have a cousin or ex-boyfriend who’s half Galra? Is Shiro secretly a clone? Am I secretly an alien too?? Is Coran secretly gay? …actually I’m about 90% sure that last one is true so that wouldn’t be shocking BUT ANYWAYS the point is that my poor head is going to explode at some point…

 

* * *

 

 

#6D:

 

…uh and I’ve gotta admit, Allura’s been pretty rude to Keith, but I have no idea what to do about it. Hunk’s been nice, and that’s all good, but I’m a little worried Keith might do something stupid if he starts to believe he’s not welcome or something…

 

* * *

 

 

#6E:

 

Diary,

 

Shiro is gone.

 

I… I think we may have defeated Zarkon? But we have no way to know.

 

I didn’t want this. Not if it meant losing Shiro.

 

I…

 

I’ll write later.

 

-Lance

 

* * *

 

 

#6F:

 

Dear Diary,

Things have still been really rough since Shiro disappeared. I’m not sure who’s taking it harder, Allura or Keith. I’ve been trying to cheer people up, but while it works half the time, the other half of the time they just get annoyed with me. I don’t know what to do. Hunk, Pidge, Coran, and I have been spending more time together whenever Allura and Keith want to be alone (either individually or together to share their pain) but we’re all worried about the two of them and we’re all extremely worried about Shiro.

The weirdest and worst part is that I’m just not wired to be constantly worried about something. Funny things still make me laugh and good food still makes me smile and sometimes I can go hours at a time without thinking about Shiro until I turn around to talk to him and he’s not there. I think Keith thinks I don’t care but I do. I just… I can’t stay focused on it all the time like he can. I can’t constantly stress myself out like that. My brain will literally think about anything else. I just… I don’t know how to express that to him…

 

* * *

 

 

#6G:

 

…so we all tried to get Black to accept us, and I… I tried so hard. I tried to be the leader I’ve always wanted to be. I tried to think about the team, not just my personal glory of course. I tried to think about how I could support them, how I could encourage them, how I could guide them in battle. But I guess I’m just not as selfless as Shiro was… or else I’m just not good enough. I just… idk.

At first I refused to accept Keith as our new leader, but when I realized that he doesn’t actually want this, that there’s no way he’s making this up, I knew he needed support. So, even though I thought that Keith probably wasn’t the best leader choice, I told him what he needed to hear – that I’ll stand by him and respect Shiro’s and Black’s decision. And the funny thing is, as I said it, I realized I meant it. Sure, Keith’s a hothead, but obviously Shiro saw something in him, something that even Keith doesn’t see. And since Black sees it too, well, who am I to disagree? So yeah, I showed my support for him. And what do I get for that? Oh right. My own lion rejects me. I’m turned into Keith’s stand-in to fly Red. Blue takes Allura instead. I… I don’t understand. Blue literally shut me out. It would be one thing if she just didn’t power up, but no she put up the barrier against me and everything.

What did I do wrong? I don’t understand…

 

* * *

 

 

#6H:

 

…and Lotor and his little crew are as annoying as ever, but what else is new? We’re doing our best, but we’re still not really in top shape. He’s playing us at every turn. We just visited this terrifying alternate reality…

 

* * *

 

 

#6I:

 

Dear Diary,

Shiro’s back!! We finally found him!! After so long…

I’m a little concerned for him. It looks like he’s been through a lot. I hope he recovers soon…

Though uh… I don’t know how that’s gonna work with the lions. I imagine Shiro will get Black back, and Keith will want Red back, but then Blue chose Allura, so what now?

Maybe I should ask Keith about it? He might know what to do…

 

* * *

 

 

#6J:

 

Dear Diary,

Shiro’s up and about! I’ve gotta admit, though, something’s off about him. Then again, he was away for a long time. Hopefully he’ll be fine soon.

Apparently Black rejected him? So Keith is staying as our leader for now? Idk how this is gonna work out, but I guess we’ll see.

Ugh, so, Lotor…

 

* * *

 

 

#6K:

 

...and now Keith’s involved in the Blade of Marmora. Don’t get me wrong, the Blade is a great ally, but we need Keith here. Black rejected Shiro. We need Keith to fly Black and lead us in battle.

Though I’ve gotta admit, it feels like we have three leaders, and it’s super awkward. Before, we had Shiro and Allura, who worked well as a team with Allura being the tactician and support and Shiro being the front-lines general. Then for a brief time we just had Keith with Allura as like an advisor. But now? Shiro’s technically the tactician, but he keeps trying to lead like a front-line fighter even though he’s not even here, Allura keeps trying to coparent with Shiro but not only does that take away from the fact that she’s supposed to be support but also Allura and Shiro haven’t been working as well together ever since Shiro came back from… whatever happened to him exactly. And then we have Keith, who’s supposed to lead us, but he mostly just listens to whatever Shiro and Allura are saying. But then when he _does_ disagree, there’s this weird moment where no one knows whose word is law. Hunk, Pidge, and I just have to wait until they come to an agreement or choose to follow whichever one’s advice sounds best, and sometimes the three of us don’t agree.

Pidge has been spending less and less time with the team, obsessively trying to find Matt. Hunk’s been trying to hang out with everyone equally, but he’s been spending the most time with either me or Coran. On the upside, Coran’s cooking has improved! When Keith’s not with the Blade, he’s usually training, sleeping, or talking to Shiro. And every third time he comes back from a Blade mission, he has to go into a cryo-pod. He’s been pushing really hard with his training too. Once, he overworked himself so much that he couldn’t even fight off Coran when he insisted on getting Keith into a pod. Shiro… something about his presence just feels wrong. He shows no respect for me, which, fine, I don’t try to be respectable, but he’s also been really cold to Hunk and even Pidge??? It’s weird. He acts fine with Allura, but she’s confessed to me that they’ve been having some communication issues.

Speaking of which… strangely, I’ve been spending time with Allura lately? It was kind of weird at first because I kind of had a crush on her, and I kind of still do? Idk it’s weird. I think I’m probably just trying to get over Keith. First it was Pidge (tbh I still think she’s cute and if I thought she was even remotely interested I might try to make something work but I’m about 95% sure she’s aromantic), then Allura, then there was that short incident with Nyma, and just… Anyways the point is that after I figured out how to ignore how beautiful she is, Allura and I started to get along really well. She actually reminds me a lot of my big sister! I’ve been helping Allura relax by walking her through skincare routines and stuff and just letting her vent everything to me. It feels nice to know that she trusts me like that. It makes me feel… needed? Part of the team? Valuable? Idk.

Point is… things are rough. I hope everything works out soon.

-Lance

 

* * *

 

 

#6L:

 

Diary,

Keith is an idiot. Keith is an idiot and HE LEFT US and it’s my fault I should have done more I should have cut him more slack I should have stopped asking him to be part of the shows because I _knew_ he hated them but I just…

It should have been me. They don’t… they don’t need me. I’m not as skilled as Keith. I don’t have his talent in battle. I don’t automatically know just the right thing to do. I’m not instinctual like that. I... I shouldn’t be the Red Paladin! That’s not me!! I’m not like that. I’m not impulsive and quick and lucky and confident. That’s Keith’s job! That… that _was_ Keith’s job.

I can’t fill his shoes. I’ve been trying to for so long, and I guess I hoped that one day things would magically work out, but now… Now Shiro’s the leader again, and I’m still uneasy because I don’t think he’ll accept me as his second-in-command. It should be Allura. She’s the one he accepts and respects and trusts. She’s the one who usually knows what to do when we’re in battle. I belong with Hunk as support, or… or maybe I just don’t belong. I’m just a stand-in. But instead of Keith giving me a chance to tell him, to try to give Red back to him because yeah I kind of have a bond with her but it’s not the same as with Blue and I can _feel_ that she misses _him_ and…

Keith just straight-up left. He’s on some top secret mission and we can’t even contact him.

I’m so scared. I’m scared that Keith’s gonna do something stupid. I’m scared that Shiro’s not gonna accept me or listen to me. I’m scared that when the moment comes when I _do_ figure out what’s happening, when I do have the instinct to act, Shiro and Allura are gonna shut me out. I’m so terrified. What is this going to do to the team?

All this time, I was mentally bracing for Keith to reclaim Red and for me to have to leave the team. I never thought… I guess I should have realized. When I told Keith about my worries, he told me to ‘leave the math to Pidge’, but I think what he really meant was that I should leave it to him. He planned all along to step aside and let me have Red, but that’s not what Red wants. I’m sure of it. I…

I hope Keith doesn’t do something stupid like sacrificing himself while he’s with the Blade. They die so often. I’m worried that they might put that kind of mindset into Keith, that the only way to win is to die. I should have talked to him more while he was here. All this time, I thought I was the only one struggling with not belonging or feeling like others were more qualified than me. Now I find out that Keith’s been feeling the same way, but it’s too late.

I already miss him. And, I hate to admit it, but. I still like him. I know it’s stupid. I know I’m not his soulmate. But some part of me… I still have feelings for him. And even if we can never be together like that, I still wish I could help him.

I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I’ll… write later.

-Lance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well then. Fun times all around.  
> I can't believe my fluffy diary fic somehow turned into this.  
> Anyways! Feedback is welcome. I'm not sure when the final chapter will go up, but hopefully I've have time to write during Thanksgiving weekend.


	4. #7-9 Excerpts of Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge finds what she's been looking for, Lance makes a discovery, and things are chill until they're not until they are again.  
> Also, why do _both_ of these idiots go by names other than their real names??  
>  Finally, people communicate. Communication is good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY IT'S BEEN 10,000 YEARS SINCE I UPDATED.  
> I could go on a long explanation of why and all that but I'm sure you're not interested.  
> ONWARD TO THE GOOD STUFF! ENJOY! (I hope!)

Excerpt #7:

 

Dear diary,

 

Guess what? Pidge finally found Matt!! I’m so happy for them and for Keith and Shiro and… yeah uh… okay I’ll admit it. I really REALLY miss my family now. It’s just… I haven’t had to think about them that much. Normally I just go on doing whatever we need to do, meeting new people, having a good time, flirting casually, all just fun stuff, you know? I mean the missions are intense and serious, but outside of those and training I just keep busy. But…

I really miss earth. I miss my family. I miss the ocean and the beach and rain and sunshine. I miss playing in the milder rainstorms with my siblings and cousins and then later on with my nieces and nephews before mom called us inside and made us dry off and then we all ate snacks together. I miss playing board games with close family and playing card games with all the extended family during holidays. I miss telling spooky stories to my nieces and nephews with a flashlight whenever storms knocked out the power. Is it weird that I’m nostalgic for power outages?? I just… if we could go back even for _one_ day, I could at least tell my family I’m okay. It’s been so long now, they’ve probably assumed the worst. I just want to let them know what happened, but Shiro thinks it’s best to just let them believe whatever the Garrison told them until we’re ready to go home for good.

Anyways uh Matt’s a cool guy. Actually it was kinda funny because as soon as we all met him we of course immediately asked him to show his arm and he was really confused! Hunk of course was MVP and explained the situation and showed Matt the signature Keith left behind and lo and behold it’s a perfect match so of course we contacted Keith. I mean, we technically weren’t allowed to contact Keith, but Pidge wasn’t going to let Matt suffer now that we knew basically for sure so she did some crazy cool tech wizard stuff and managed to open a communications channel with the ship Keith was on. Kolivan was really upset about us contacting Keith while they’re trying to be all stealthy and stuff but once Pidge explained, Kolivan agreed to send Keith back to us for like a day so he could meet his soulmate.

Keith showed up and said hi to everyone for all of about two seconds before Matt came out and they said hi and touched and both reacted to the bond so YUP THEY’RE SOULMATES and idk it was super cute and stuff.

Sorry if it seems like I’m unhappy. I’m happy for them, I really am, I swear. I’m really glad they have each other now and all that. It’s just… idk, I mean, I guess I’m jealous. Not really for Keith… I mean, I liked him, and I still kinda do, but as long as he’s happy, you know? It’s more like… I’m just jealous of the fact that they have each other now, and they _know_ what their soulmarks mean, and they had the confirmation of the marks activating, and…

Anyways, it’s been a weird day. Kudos to Pidge for finally finding her brother, though. I hope the two of them find their father soon.

 

See ya next time,

Lance

 

* * *

 

 

Excerpt #8:

 

HOLY QUIZNAK. ALL THIS TIME. WHY. I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE THIS. I AM SO SHOOK. SO S H O O K.

 

*ahem* So, dear diary, I found out something crazy today.

 

Did you know that Pidge’s real first name is Katie?? Because I sure didn’t!!

Okay so we were just hanging out, you know. It was me, Pidge, Matt, and Hunk, all just chilling. Then Matt started talking about something Pidge had accomplished and joked about someone presenting her with an award, saying something like, “And the award for Coolest Little Sister Ever goes to the Green Paladin of Voltron, Master Inventor, God-Tier Hacker, Scourge of the Galaxy Garrison, Official Little Gremlin…” etc. etc. “Katie Holt!”

So I was like, “Wait… your name is _Katie?_ ” and she was like, “You thought it was actually Pidge?” which okay that’s besides the point. The point is that my soulmark really could spell Katie. Like, way back when, when I was a kiddo and the mark was new, I asked _everyone_ what they thought it said, and a few halfheartedly suggested Katie among other names. So now, after discovering that Pidge’s actual name is Katie, well… at first I was like _no way_ but then, THEN I remembered at the Galaxy Garrison when my mark activated, there was that girl, right? She was running down the hall, trying to get away from the guards. And, get this, her hair color is definitely the same color as Pidge’s, and Matt just mentioned “Scourge of the Galaxy Garrison” in his made-up list of titles, so…

And um Matt and Pidge both noticed that I was stunned so they were both like “what?” and I asked Pidge if that was really her that day at the Garrison and she was like “of course it was me. Did you see any _other_ genius hacker girls running away from security at the Garrison? …wait you were the one I knocked over?” and she looked kind of like she wanted to ask a question but hesitated.

So uh… well, I basically said “sooo… you knocked me over and I fell on like a half a dozen people but specifically directly on top of Keith”

(Btw, I don’t remember what _exactly_ was said, so this is just what I remember of it to give you the gist of the conversation)

Pidge said something like “okay?”

And then I said, “So, my soulmark activated, and I thought it was Keith, and I saw a bit of his soulmark on his arm peeking out from his jacket sleeve, and it kinda looked like the first few letters of my name, so I was absolutely _sure_ it was him, and… well, you know how that went.”

So then Matt said, “But your name doesn’t look like mine?”

I answered, “Would you believe me if I told you that Lance is one of my middle names? And my real first name is…”

“Mateo,” we literally all said at once. (Well, Hunk was silently watching this exchange, so he didn’t say anything, but me and Pidge and Matt all said it.)

I pulled back my sleeve to show my mark, and Pidge pulled back hers to show _her_ mark, which _definitely_ says “Mateo”, and she admitted that her soulmark also activated that day but she was too busy trying to get away from the guards to look and see, so…

Yes, I definitely gave her a hard time for her terrible handwriting, and yes, Matt backed me up. He’s already the best brother-in-law I could ever ask for!

So… yeah. _That’s a thing._ Pidge is my soulmate.

 

I’m not sure whether I’m thrilled to finally, _finally_ know who my soulmate is or _really really quiznaking annoyed that I’ve known her this whole time but didn’t know she was my soulmate!!!_

A bit of both, really.

 

Anyways, Matt and Hunk thankfully both left to give Pidge and I a little space. I think they expected us to kiss or something, but like… Pidge and I have been friends long enough that that would probably be a little weird? It’s hard to, like, instantly switch between thinking of someone as a friend to thinking of that same someone as a _girlfriend_ , you know?

Oh, and Pidge came out to me as ace (though she said she might turn out to be demi-ace and just hasn’t been close enough in a romantic way to anyone yet to have that kind of attraction), which, I mean, that’s chill. I’m obviously _not_ ace, so that’s something we’ll have to work around, but I told her that I’d rather work around my non-ace-ness and respect her asexuality than have her try to force herself into something she’s not sure she wants. She seemed relieved, which makes me wonder if people have given her grief about her sexuality (or lack thereof) before? I hope not. She may only be my girlfriend as of like 6 hours ago but she’s been one of my best friends for a long time now and I don’t want _anyone_ to hurt her like that.

We had our first “date” earlier this evening, which was honestly just playing games together and hanging out but in candlelight to make it more “romantic” (Matt’s idea, and I 100% approve. Pidge seemed annoyed but amused).

So yeah. It’s been a crazy day. I think I’m still processing.

 

To recap:

Pidge has been my soulmate _this entire time_

I now have a girlfriend

I also now have a brother-in-law (well, okay, depending on how you define it, he’s not my brother-in-law _yet_ , but some people count that as soon as a soulmate pair meets, so…) who has a similar sense of humor to mine

Pidge’s terrible handwriting is what has plagued me since I was 10

Also (I forgot to mention it above) apparently Matt’s been teasing Pidge about “Mateo” since her soulmark appeared, joking about the Matt and Mat power team, so he’s kind of disappointed that I go by Lance (but we’re totally still a power duo)

 

Well, I need to get some rest. Apparently Coran has some weird idea for something different we can do with the coalition shows? So we’re gonna try that tomorrow. I’d say “wish me luck”, but honestly I think everyone else is more likely to need it!

 

See ya later,

Lance

 

* * *

 

Excerpt #9

 

Dear diary,

 

Um. A lot happened today. Um.

 

Right now, I’m in my room sitting on my bed. Pidge is lying with her head in my lap, finally taking a nap. I’ll probably lay down too when I finish this entry but right now I need to write all this out because UMMM so much happened and I have too many thoughts in my head right now.

 

It was supposed to be a pretty straightforward mission. The stakes were high but the risk was supposed to be low. Our goal was to take a planet called Naxzela (I _think_ that’s how it’s spelled? I don’t know?? I mean it’s in an alien language so I guess it doesn’t matter but still).

I don’t feel like getting into the details of it all right now, but the point is that it wasn’t supposed to be all that bad. We got there and it was just kinda… too easy… I was pretty sure something was wrong. Then these pillars rose up and I just _knew_ we had to get out there, but Shiro didn’t listen to me, and…

Maybe I’ll tell the whole story later, but right now I don’t even want to _think_ about it. Long story short, we nearly died, then Keith nearly died (hoo boy the look on Matt’s face when he and Keith both came back to the Castle for a post-mission debrief… I’m pretty sure Matt’s not planning to let his boyfriend out of his sight ever again if he can help it), then quiznaking LOTOR saved the day and declared that he wants to “talk” with us????? So um… yeah he’s currently, like, staying in a room here in the Castle. Guarded, mind you. “Talks” are going to start tomorrow I guess. So… that’s a _thing_. I **really** don’t trust him, but we’ll just have to see how this goes.

 

Uh… let’s talk about something else. Pidge and I have been doing great, actually. We’ve gone on a few more dates. We actually just had our first kiss, too! I joked about her giving me a kiss for good luck before the Naxzela mission, and she actually did it! I was surprised, but definitely a _good_ surprised. We had our second kiss after it was all over, too. That one was a bit more… heartfelt, I guess. I mean, the first one was also heartfelt, but that one, after everything… yeah. I think we both needed the reminder that we were still both alive. So… yeah! First kiss and second kiss. Both great. I just kind of wish that the rest of the day had been just as great, too. I’ll have to take Pidge on a _really, really_ good date to make up for all this.

I should probably talk to Pidge about the kisses later? I mean, she technically initiated both of them, but I want to make sure that she actually likes it and isn’t just doing it because she feels obligated to? Well, then again, she’s not the type of person to put up with stuff she’s not okay with. I just want to make sure that she isn’t forcing herself past her own boundaries, since she’s asexsjoiarpshl[h;\

Pidge woke up and grabbed the tablet from me (and completely button-smashed the keyboard, thanks hun, I’m not deleting that mess, you can live with what you’ve done), read what I’d written, scoffed, and kissed me again. I guess she likes kissing.

Pidge would like me to write here clarifying that just because she’s asexual, that doesn’t mean that she can’t enjoy stuff like kissing. Good to know. _I’d_ just like to clarify that I wouldn’t have minded either way.

Alright, Pidge wants me to put this down and just get some quiznaking sleep already (which is unusual, considering that it’s usually _me_ who has to try to get _her_ to sleep), so I’ll write more later.

Until next time!

Lance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh I hope you liked this! I was very, very insecure about this chapter. Please comment and let me know what you think of it and of the story as a whole!
> 
> ALSO PLEASE CELEBRATE WITH ME, AS THIS IS THE FIRST MULTICHAPTER STORY I HAVE EVER FINISHED!!
> 
> Special thanks one last time to Plance queen honestlyprettychill (https://honestlyprettychill.tumblr.com/) for being my muse for this fic! If you want cute Plance art, go check out her works! And if you want to hear an _adorable_ Plance fansong she made with guitarsofmarmora, you can check it out here! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnOScZSR6y4
> 
> Extra-special thanks to my friends on the Legendary Paladins server for beta-reading this! What's that, you say? You don't know what the Legendary Paladins server is? Check out the post here for all the info! https://lainafantasy.tumblr.com/post/170243622821/introducing-for-the-voltron-fandom-legendary
> 
> And I'd like to extend a big thank you to all of you wonderful and kind people who read this and gave kudos and/or commented! I love seeing your feedback and reactions!
> 
> Until next time, goodbye!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this! I had a lot of fun with it. I'll try to put out the next chapter soon!  
> Check out the friend who inspired it here: https://honestlyprettychill.tumblr.com/
> 
> Also for the few of you who see this who are also waiting on You're Like Me, I swear it's coming, but I just really needed something lighthearted right now because school is k i l l i n g me.


End file.
